Lotus, Denver, Fig, Pickle,
Thank you. I do appreciate the input. I am so happy I found this sight. I think the best things in life are free.

Lotus,
I would like to get back to your post. I want you to know that I want to apologize to you for all the bad husbands out there. You are correct. Men have this horrible tendency to avoid an apology. Yes, that too was me and I do appreciate you calling me on it. Why? Because I honestly want to change. No one ever changes when everyone is walking up to them, patting them on the back and telling them, "good job." Lotus, your post was a 2x4 to the face and I actually thank you for it. I am so very sorry for all the crap I put my W through. And, if I am ever given the chance to make amends, I will make it my life's work, HONEST!

It's just that my W is still holding a ton of anger right now. She plays nice with me when we are together, but she flies off the handle the minute something doesn't go according to her plan. She smiles at me, but there is some serious anger just under the surface. Her smiles right now are more like an oil slick on water. You can see it, but only in the right light and you can tell it is razor thin compared to what lies below.

I want to apologize. I rehearse an apology in the mirror every day. But, I just don't think she would accept it right now. But, maybe you guys are right. Maybe I just offer the apology and walk away not worrying about the consequences. I will give this some thought. Thank you, Lotus. Your feedback is always welcomed!

FOBD

Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...