Shine on you crazy diamond...

[Firstlove]

Lotus - I feel your pain about only hearing a few times from your H in 31 years of marriage that he is sorry for something.

I have been in a 33 year marriage and this is NOT an exaggeration when I say this. Know how many times I have heard my W come to me and say that she is sorry for doing something, or admits that she might have been wrong, or that she will work on some changes - ZERO - I have never heard that from my W even on time in 33 years of marriage. The reason I have never heard that is because she truly truly believes that she is incapable of being wrong on anything - its stunning actually. Just wanted to put that out there because most people think that is is just the men who take that kind of attitude - believe me - it is not - it goes both ways with men and women.

On forgiveness - it is one of the most difficult things anyone can do, for many, its literally impossible. I heard this in church the other week and it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was written by a man who saw his entire family murdered infront of him in the Nazi concentration camps in WWII. This is what he said about forgiveness.

"The true power in forgiveness is forgiving the unforgiveable"

For many, forgiving the unforgivable is simply impossible - they cannot do it and will not ever do it - and they will live in that prison of anger they build themselves and they throw the key away themselves. Love and unforgiveness cannot exist in the same space as each other. Until your spouse can forgive you, love cannot exist - love and hate cannot occupy the same space at the same time its that simple. Shakespeare said it well in the Taming of the Shrew

"Stoke not a fire for thine enemy so HOT that thy might singe thyself"

That is actually scriptural if you want to look it up see - Daniel 3:22

Love is the most powerful weapon on earth - learn to wield it mightly.

FL