The Lies and Deception Killing Me

[abbey1989]

Hi,
My H has almost certainly been having an affair with OW for about 2 years or so. She was a former client of ours. She divorced her husband around that time. Was a BIG red flag for me at that time. All the signs have been there...MLC, purchase of a classic convertible, a new motorcycle, increased grooming (especially in certain areas), spending less time at home, doing more things "alone" on Saturdays.

I must say H did a pretty good job of not slipping up in all of this time. He even has a "secret cell phone" which he just accidentally called me from last week. Boy was he surprised when I answered! Honestly, I have found no evidence of receipts or lipstick on the collar so to speak.

I have been trying to do 180's, and am just finding it so difficult to stay cheerful when I feel cheated, lonely and ridiculed by his behavior. I don't want o appear mopey and sad because that will make him want to run to OW more. But I feel like a fake when acting cheerful when I feel horrible.

Does anyone have any strategies with staying cheerful but not appearing phony or fake? I know he knows that I am upset about the cell phone revelation. He of course made up a lame story as to why he was calling from another number. The kicker was that he even left a message on my cell phone from that number thinking he was leaving it for OW (pretty certain of that).

Any advice is much appreciated!

Me - 46
H - 52