I feel like I came late to the party. i don't even know what BITS is or are. And I don't know you. I only really know the man I married. So, if you are anything like him, then I imagine you always think you are right and never apologize. In fact, in 31 years with my husband, I think I can count the number of apologies that I've heard on one hand. And there may be fingers left over.... But, giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he has apologized 5 times in 31 years.
So, what I'm hearing from you is that you think it's too early for an apology for wrong behavior, that you know you did, but you think she won't accept the apology. But I don't buy it. Because we both know the timing of the apology is wrong, not because it is too early, but because it is too late.
So what I really hear is an excuse for not having to form those oh, so difficult words, "I'm sorry." And not just "I'm sorry if you were hurt by the things I did", which trips off the tongue of the person who isn't really sorry, but "I'm sorry; I know I was wrong and I really feel bad about the things I did." Which acknowledges that you were wrong. And that, is the heartfelt apology which I believe men would rather fall on a sword than give.
