Shine on you crazy diamond...

[FellOnBlackDays]

BITS,
Thank you! As usual, you guys put my mind in order when I can not. I want to send a special "thank you" to the ladies for their input. I think it is so awesome that we can get the "other" perspective from each other.

First, let me say, you are right. I don't think I am yet at a point where I can do this. It was obvious from her visit the other night, she still wants to punish me. As long as she is still looking to hand down her own form of justice, she will find any apology from me hollow and just another reason to get mad at me. But, we are going to have to address this at some point. I know that she is fixated on this right now. I think it might be driving some of her behavior. None the less, I will have to wait until she can get past her current frame of mind.

What scares me is the "positions" we now seem to hold on the track, so to speak. As you guys have heard me mention before, she was light years ahead of me with this entire S. She had her plan, rented a place and hit the road all while I will still trying to "get my car out of the garage." While I was just waking up to the first stages of grief, she was already in acceptance. But things have changed lately and I am worried. I now seem to have passed her. Not only is she not staying ahead of me, her car has stalled and has slowly coasted backwards into "anger" again. This is what is now keeping me up at night. She is still happy just being pissed at me while I feel like I am far beyond that. My C agrees with me that we will never be able to even consider reconciliation as long as her car is stuck in "anger." I guess I have no choice but to sit and wait by the roadside until she decides to move forward.

I still have not heard from her in four days and I do believe she is waiting for me to call her. I don't have a choice now. I have to go out of town for a long business meeting next week and she took the luggage when she left. She agreed to let me use some of it so we have to meet this weekend to exchange this stuff. I guess there will be some more heavy-duty DBing going on this weekend.

BITS never walk alone!!!

FOBD