As the Bolt Turns

[Bolt]

I think the test is my insecurity and trust.
She has never given me reason to not trust her in the past. There hasn't been even an inkling of something odd in 17 years. She reiterated again that I have nothing to worry about.

We talked and she said that she would always keep me in the loop even though there is no loop to be in. She said, honestly it is just someone weird to talk to. I have to trust her.

She said that I've been transferring how I would feel if the roles were reversed. As a matter of fact, they were.

When that assistant from the firing earlier started texting me (before all of this mess started), I told her everything. BUT I did enjoy the attention.

Right now, I'm transferring that to her. She said there is absolutely no connection, she has no feelings and she isn't in need of that affection - I give her plenty of what she needs right now.

She did say that if HE started it in a weird direction, she would stop it. Reiterating that she is not looking for it at all.

I know through my typing it will seem that she is protesting too loudly but I know my wife and I know it's nothing.

Chrysalid, you were asking what my gut is saying? My gut is telling me I'm an idiot. There is nothing and stop being so insecure. I'm an artist/writer so I have a giant ego that is extremely fragile - BUT I've never been insecure in our R.

One last thing. She was taking the older D to a play tonight and before she left, she came over and said, "don't even think about this. Thank you for giving me some time" and kissed me and held me very tight. I had to let go not her.

I take that as a good sign...

now back to our regular scheduled program...