I want to get rid of the car because it represents (to me, and probably her) and is a physical manifestation of the selfishness of my past.
It is also a big change in my life...she always used to mention how "it was my baby".
It's certainly not going to relieve my guilt and I'm not expecting anything of her other than to see it as a change in my life.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Why? She still has full access to our bank accounts.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Navy, For what it is worth, I agree with JB3. Sell the car and hand her the letter with the money in it. Don't put the selling of the car in her hands. You take the initiative, sell the car and hand her the money. That is a true sign of how much you want to change and how much you are willing to sacrifice for her. Asking her if she wants you to do it or putting it out there to be talked about may take away the significance of doing it. When you are going to plan a surprise birthday party for someone, you don't ask them, "Hey, do you want a surprise party?" No, you plan it and lead them to it. They are surprised and they realize how hard you worked to give the a special moment. Same applies here. Just hand her the money with no precursor or attachments. It will mean more to her...
BITS never walk alone!!!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
The car is sold...money will be going into the bank Monday. Sent the e-mail, haven't heard anything back yet...
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Ugh...evening from hell here. W was at my parents house this afternoon and I talked to her while she was there...she said my dad said something to her about us last week before she took me to the airport....so I ask about it and she wouldn't really tell me what he said, but said it made her feel kind of awkward around him. So then I called my mom after W left the house and my mom said that she told W that "she knows you guys can work this out" and gave her a hug. So now I'm a disaster...did my parents just undo all my DBing efforts? What should I tell W??
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
Nothing. Your dad said it not you. If she feels awkward then let her feel that way. You can only control you not her feelings or how she handles certain interactions. So your dad said that, good for him.
I just don't want the kids getting cut off from my parents...they really love it at my parents' house.
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
