SIC, about the sex thing. You can't tell her you accept that she's moving on and want to help her find a house but then try to have sex with her. When she's drunk. It screams "I don't care about you or respect" to a woman. I know you know it was a mistake. Responding to your question about how long to wait? For how long you want to save your marriage. If you value sex over your marriage then you're not committed. Committed means waiting 3 months or 3 years if you have to. Yes, I get you're a guy, you have urges and all that caveman stuff but women are wired differently. We cannot have sex with men we don't like or want. Why are you guys still sharing a bed if you can't handle it? Why don't you take the initiative (especially if she's about to move out) and ask her to sleep on the sofa? Or you sleep on the sofa? Not a mean way but in a detaching, moving on way to keep yourself out of trouble? Maybe it will be a 180 she'll notice... ie "he doesn't want me?".
Thanks Hope.
I understand, and since I've only ever been with my W I imagine I'll wait as long as I have too...doesn't mean I have to like it! If I could make myself stop wanting sex I would do it in a second!!! I want to save my M, no doubt about it.
We share a bed because our bed is really comfortable, and it hasn't really been an issue. It's not like I am lying in bed imagining having sex with her constantly. Other than the drunk incident I haven't even bothered, because I know she doesn't want to have sex with me and right now I do understand why. Again though, doesn't mean I should have to like it!
Neither of us are going anywhere for probably at least 6 months, and I have no desire to spend the next 6 months sleeping on our couch. I guess maybe I could do a trial run and sleep on the couch for a couple weeks and see what happens. How do I go back though once I've moved to the couch???
Me - 34 W - 33 M - 8 years T - 15 years D7, D5, D2 Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY" W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011
