Piecing is almost harder than before...

[Bolt]

Bolt -

For me (as my thread title suggests), it's actually harder. Don't get me wrong, I'm HAPPIER to be piecing, but it's more difficult. Before, I knew what to do. I didn't always want to do it and sometimes I didn't, but I knew what it was. I tried to detach, no ILY, no affection, no calling or texting, GALing, etc etc.

In piecing, it's really hard to know the balance. I say ILY but give no pressure around affection. We talk a lot and I listen a lot, but don't get upset when I get the cheek instead of a kiss good bye. I try to empathize a lot. I really try to look at everything from W's point of view before responding solely based on mine.

The hard part for me is the balance. When DB'ing, it was all one way. Now it's not, but it can't be all the other way either. I want to run. She's still crawling (maybe walking?).

Not sure if that helps you or not...

It does help. I felt like I crossed one finish line by keeping her here and having her say that she no longer wants to leave. I'm just trying to find that sweet spot of still being the same new man without the desperation in my heart.

Not that I'm not desperate to keep her. My body just isn't in knots anymore. I guess the knots are replaced with love. (sounds weird but true)

Funny thing happened this morning. I was making eggs for everyone and W wanted just a little. I sat down with the Ds to eat and thought about taking the W some in a dish. For ONE split second, I thought - she can come grab some if she likes.

But then I remembered, I WANT to help her feel loved so I scooped them in a dish and took them to her. Her reaction was, Oh, I was going to come in with you guys (she was doing some work on the computer) - I said, no big deal, I know you were working.

It's the little things!!

Thanks for the help!