I don't even know how hard those were to write, but I am so proud of you! I don't like the old Denver. I want you to paste your note somewhere where you can see it often so you make sure that you continue to kill any remnants of that old Denver. But, you have made some huge revelations and strides and we all love that Denver. I am just so proud of you.
Ok, buddy, so the truth... I don't really hear mention of your W being all that religious. If that is, in fact, true, then in conventional thinking, she didn't really cheat on you. This indiscretion is not something for you to necessarily forgive, but something to move on from. You told her on a number of occassions to move on. You told her that it was over. And when you were done telling her, you showed her. Keeping friends like that with women is really not good. Keeping old e-mails and letters from x's is disrespectful. I say all of this not to hurt you. But, I feel that way in my own situation right now. I do not know if my H is in an A, but what I do know is that his relationships with other women particularly the one that I am concerned about is inappropriate and has shown me just how little he cares about my feelings. If I were not committed to my vows and to God, I honestly feel as if I would be within my right to go see other people as he has told me and showed me on a number of occassions that it is over.
You have to understand that words hurt bad. Words in anger especially tear people down and we all need to be especially careful in those situations. I do not judge because I have a wicked temper and have said awful things to my H in anger. I know what buttons to push to make him feel small, and I pushed every one of them. So please know, I am not judging you.
Sweetie, you have a huge opportunity here. I would not let this A get in the way of this, especially since she volunteered never to speak to OM again.
As far as people sticking with you... are you kidding??? You stuck with all of us!!! And there are more than a few of us who probably have some confessions to make of their own. We are not perfect people. So the next big point is that you need to forgive yourself. If you don't, the guilt will eat you alive. You made mistakes, you are repenting. Stay THAT course.
You are such a great man and we are on YOUR side every minute of every day.
