You are in a tough spot right now. She has the microscope on you and everything you do that doesn't follow her line of thinking is magnified and justifies her position.
You really have to be careful about what you say. You may want to consider the 5 second rule before responding. If she says the kids like her the best, then so be it. Its not worth debating at this point. Your actions will determine your kids feelings toward you. At this point your only option is to agree with everything or simply not engage. Any debate or negative discussion between the 2 of you is not helping your cause.
Your focus right now should be on creating doubt in her mind that she is making the right choice in leaving. Acknowledge that you didn't follow the bed time routine, promise not to do it again and move on.
Keep up the hockey action. Its good to get out of the home environment and allow you to focus on something you enjoy.
