The Moment of Clarity

[Firstlove]

Denver - good stuff and I have copied your stuff to a folder I am keeping on my goal oriented "solutions". I will share a couple of things here as I enter the 5th month of my separation from my WAW after 33 years of marriage.

I am having many of those "moments of clarity" in my "singularity" and perhaps that is the only way I could have come to the realizations that are presently unfolding in my life. I am reminded of this quote.

"What I've learned in good times I can fit on the head of a pin" C.S. Lewis

If we are lucky we will all have an opportunity to put into practice that which has been carved into our souls with the hot knife of reality. After spending the past 150 nights alone in our bed, one begins to comprehend the magnitude of one's errors and you walk around with a mirror, looking at yourself and coming to a painful realization as to your part in the broken-hill of one's marriage.

Let me share something that a young man said at our men's prayer group at our church. After the bomb went off in our marriage, I ran as FAST as I could to our church and fell at the foot of the cross, looking only to Christ to direct my paths from this day forward. One of the men who was giving his testimony as to how he came to his current beliefs and how he now lives his life. He was saying that he had done a lot of things in his life that he was not proud of and has made a TON of mistakes. He said that only by the grace of God that he did not get caught doing the things he was doing because had he been caught, he would have ended up in a jail cell - so he was thank God for his grace and mercy to keep him out of a jail cell.

After his testimony we were sitting around the dinner table in a small group discussion. This young man, probably 30, said this about what the speaker had shared. He told us that he had just gotten out of prison, and here he was at a men's bible study at church. Now that is some transition. He went on to say this to us. "The speaker said that only by the grace of God did he not end up in a jail cell. For me (the young man), only by the grace of God DID I end up in a jail cell. The jail cell, where I sat alone, afraid, not knowing what to do next, realizing the broken hill of my life, the mistakes I have made all by myself, did I fully comprehend how much I was responsible and how much I needed to change, and to have Christ in my life".

For him, the jail cell was his "moment of clarity". He was out, given a "second chance" to make amends and make a life full of blessings and abundance, and changing his ways.

For those of us separated, we are in that "jail cell". We have a choice to make therefore choose to continue on the path that got us here OR we can change. Simple - right ?

Firstlove