New and need help.

[Seminolewind]

I went and talked with a lawyer yesterday. I brought some papers home for the W and I to fill out and get back to the lawyer. I filled out some of the papers before my W got off work and she stopped by and we spoke about what was going to happen. The first thing I said to her was that I was tired of all of the hurtful things being said between us and from this point forward I only wanted to talk about the kids or the divorce if needed. We shook hands and agreed. She took the papers then went to a girl friend's house. I told her I needed the deeds to our house and another piece of property that we have. She told me to go to the house and get whatever and she would fill out the papers tonight and get them back to me later. She texted me about 9:00 and asked if I would mind if she took the papers in tomorrow. I told her she could do whatever she wanted to do but that I had the deeds. She didn't respond and I was not going to push the issue. The funny thing is she doesn't even know the lawyers name or where the office is located.

Actually now that I am following through on whatever she wants maybe the tables will turn. I don't know I am just going to follow through with what she wants and work on myself a little at a time. I am a good man that didn't deserve what she is putting me through and I know she knows this. I for some reason really think she was lying about the OM, I think she said all of this just to devastate me and see if I would divorce her. I could be wrong and we will see today if she follows through on her part of the divorce. Actually I think maybe reality might be setting in and she might wake up to this is really happening. I am not going to hold my breath and I am going to act as if this is the best possible solution, just what she wants. I am a poker player and I am usually pretty good at spotting a bluff. I could be wrong but I have my doubts about all of this. I guess what I am thinking is that when you are hurt you want to hurt the person that has hurt you.

I am going to be the dark man and she will have to contact me for any information. I really don't know if this is the proper way to think about all of this stuff. But all I have left are a few threads holding this marriage together. I never in this whole situation ever wanted to divorce my wife. But now I think that may be exactly what I need to do to wake her out of the fog. I will continue reading posts and learning what I need to do to at least fix me because I flat out know I can't fix my wife.

I can't wait for a good night of sleep. I so wish that none of you were on this board, because I know how this is making me feel about life. I wish I had a pill for the WAS but it doesn't exist. I will learn from my mistakes and move on with my life.

Thanks for the advice and keep it coming. I will slowly start posting on all of your threads when I get a clearer mind.