The mods used to just lock the threads when they reached a certain point and you would wake up, like you did, and have to start a new one. Now they like us to monitor our own (100 posts and start a new one) but if we don't they will lock. No biggie...
The self righteous thing came across to me as well. I think a big part of it(and I can't speak for Fig or others) is your often said "someone else would have been gone already and I am still here"... coupled with the who's deceit was bigger question...
You are here because you want to work on your M. So what if other people would walk...That would be their choice.
While I agree that you W's sexual orientation questions make it hard to figure out what your W needed and definately make the thoughts of reconciliation hard at this point...
There are things that you can and should look at...
Things that will help you in the future with this R if it reconciles, or in another...
Right now, this isn't a cooperative situation on the reconciliation front, but there ARE things that you can do, that will make reconciliation easier if it happens.
And believe me, the hormones, may have a role to play in how deeply your wife feels certain things, but they don't CAUSE her to feel those feelings.
What were/are your communication skills like? Did you listen and actually hear your W when she talked?
Did you pay attention to her after work, even for a half hour, or were you playing video games, working out, mowing the yard, etc...
Did you do things together that were fun, or did you just sit around the house doing nothing? And did you plan or help plan those activities?
Sexually, did you cuddle and snuggle and have lots of forplay, making her feel special and loved, or was it just about getting the job done?
How did you change from the man that she met and married, into the man that she is now married to?
Just some thoughts...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
