Two books for you hope.
The Gift of Fear and Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker.

These are about honing your instinct and learning to trust your gut.

Question what do the men you have been with have in common?
What attracted you to them? What attracted them to you?
Was there infidelity you knew about in your family of origin?
Something to think about.

BITS
Me-51, WAS-52
Kids 2
M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013
Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice.
Love is a action and choice you make, every day.