Thank you so much guys for sharing your own stories about dating sites and being men. There is a big difference between you 2 gentlemen and H - you didn't talk to any women. He aggressively perused many women. Ok, so he didn't catch any (that I know of) but it wasn't for lack of trying.
He still has photos of his 2 XW's... and I'm fine with that. I don't expect him to rewrite history because he met me. He has kids, there mom does exist. They were married. I'm ok with that. And he's ok with my photos of my XH and my son. But they are all in boxes, not displayed around the house. He even had both of his old wedding rings until a few months ago and then sold them (his idea, not mine). Neither one of us were virginal when we met, or young. We have pasts. I just don't want any OW in our present. That's my fear.
LIS, I don't know. That's my biggest problem... not trusting my own instinct, being clueless. I've had 4 serious relationships in my 37 years - 2 cheated on me for sure and now H possibly. I had no idea with any of them. Now, I am paranoid, but is it paranoia if it's true? That's my dilemma. I don't know if I am paranoid or insecure or both.
When I confronted him about the dating site, he said he knew I'd find out and at the time, he didn't care. He was done. So I'm not sure about your theory about him being smart enough to not bring panties into our home. Maybe he wanted to get caught? But then, I never go into his drawers. And when I confronted him, he didn't use them a reason to leave.
I'm so confused...
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
Ok, so he didn't catch any (that I know of) but it wasn't for lack of trying. 