Oh holy moley. I had no idea I had that many posts! LMAO I feel old now.
Originally Posted By: 2stepboogie
In my case I knew she was upset about certain things I just didn't realize how upset and how hurt she was. She told me, she screamed at me, she argued with me.
Yet she didn't do it in a way that actually communicated what she was trying to communicate. You say she knows you better than you know her...but if she knew you so well wouldn't she have known how to communicate what she needed from you?
There's two sides to every story. Yours, hers, and the truth is always a combination of both.
So listen, validate, work on yourself, learn from the past. But don't put it all on youself either. At some point down the road you guys will hopefully be working through these issues together, and she's got a lot to learn too.
Consistency and patience. Keep working on it. And keep the M/R talk to a minimum for a while. While it's important to discuss the issues and figure out what went wrong, it's also very important to have light and fun and friendly conversations in between to build the friendship and trust. You need to keep a good ratio of fun stuff to serious stuff and not let the problems overwhelm the good memories you are creating.
Keep up the great work!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
There's two sides to every story. Yours, hers, and the truth is always a combination of both.
So listen, validate, work on yourself, learn from the past. But don't put it all on youself either. At some point down the road you guys will hopefully be working through these issues together, and she's got a lot to learn too.
This is very good advice for the two of us 2Step...
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
You are right of course. I suppose my failings were hers as well. In the beginning I blamed myself for everything but I have been a little kinder to myself with the help of you and my fellow BITS.
Patience is something I struggle with very much but I have gotten much better.
I will be starting a new thread tonight but I have to think of a name. Tonight I am also going out with some friends for some food and drink. I will check with you guys later on tonigh
Lol michelle and lost I'm going to post something on my new thread I would like your insight on. Also those others who have followed my sitch I'm perplexed by this. It's regarding the D paperwork. On my way out tonight to do my best attempt to GAL but I will check on you guys from time to time as the evening goes
Keep working on it. And keep the M/R talk to a minimum for a while. While it's important to discuss the issues and figure out what went wrong, it's also very important to have light and fun and friendly conversations in between to build the friendship and trust. You need to keep a good ratio of fun stuff to serious stuff and not let the problems overwhelm the good memories you are creating.