Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
Doing well today at work, no anxieties or stress so far. Had a nice lunch and going to go work out after work.

Hopefully tonight I can relax and meet my goal. My goal is to relax and enjoy time with the family.


Me - 39 yrs old
Wife - 39 yrs old
Married - 18 years
Together - almost 21 year
Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10
Bomb Dropped in May 2010
Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
I failed this evening. could not keep my cool and had to go into kitchen and started crying.


Me - 39 yrs old
Wife - 39 yrs old
Married - 18 years
Together - almost 21 year
Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10
Bomb Dropped in May 2010
Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
Should I buy a Valentine's Day card or gift?


Me - 39 yrs old
Wife - 39 yrs old
Married - 18 years
Together - almost 21 year
Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10
Bomb Dropped in May 2010
Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
I hope people are still wanting to help me


Me - 39 yrs old
Wife - 39 yrs old
Married - 18 years
Together - almost 21 year
Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10
Bomb Dropped in May 2010
Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 430
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 430
It's just slow on the weekends scared.

I say you need to buy something for v day. Just make sure that the intamacy of the gift matches your sitch.

The day can't pass without some type of thought IMHO...


M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14
EA - July 2010
NC w/EA - Nov 2010
Piecing - Jan 2011
I ask for div - Jan 2012
Div papers filed - Mar 2012
I move out - July 2012
Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,496
2
Member
Offline
Member
2
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,496
S2D,

You show such positive things but then you backslide. Sandi is giving you some awesome advice here you follow it for a day then you slip. Consistency is key and the only way to really reach consistency if you make whatever changes you are making about being a better person and not in hopes of getting a reaction or aknowledgement from W


BITS

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18,666
Likes: 1
Quote:
Just make sure that the intamacy of the gift matches your sitch.


That is a terrific answer!

V-Day is one of those areas that each stitch has to examine where they are in the MR.

My question would be, have both of you agreed to make the very most of the time you have left? I remember you approaching her with that idea, but I wasn't sure where she stood on it.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 275
Originally Posted By: Sad_but_happy
It's just slow on the weekends scared.

I say you need to buy something for v day. Just make sure that the intamacy of the gift matches your sitch.

The day can't pass without some type of thought IMHO...


I was thinking of a non romantic type card. Like a secret admirer type card. I also have thought about waiting to see if she gives me one first.


Me - 39 yrs old
Wife - 39 yrs old
Married - 18 years
Together - almost 21 year
Kids - son age 13/ daughter age 10
Bomb Dropped in May 2010
Seperating - June 2011, after school lets out
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 430
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 430
How about a spa gift certificate just for her? Maybe a red sweater or red PJ's with a nice "thinking of you" card? Or maybe some flowers (no red roses)...

If you can do something small that makes it look like you planned for weeks, it would be big! The thought is so much bigger then the gift.

Maybe you can get her something small she always wanted? Something she mentioned in the past. It will subtly show that you are listening.


M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14
EA - July 2010
NC w/EA - Nov 2010
Piecing - Jan 2011
I ask for div - Jan 2012
Div papers filed - Mar 2012
I move out - July 2012
Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 430
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 430
Btw, don't wait for her to see if she buys you a gift. Be assertive and confident. Would you wait for her if you just started dating? And don't be disappointed if she does not get you anything. Expect that she won't to avoid disappointment!


M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14
EA - July 2010
NC w/EA - Nov 2010
Piecing - Jan 2011
I ask for div - Jan 2012
Div papers filed - Mar 2012
I move out - July 2012
Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2026. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5