Wife left me -

[lostnhurt]

LIS,

Thanks for your reply. Frankly struggling with all this big time. Every fiber of my being tells me she is making a big mistake and destroying our family.

Yes, I want to save my M, but Im not sure its savable anymore. She seems to be very happy where she is at right now.

Last Friday we got into a huge argument on the phone. She bought our girls a puppy from the pound, its something we talked about doing for the girls when they got older. I was mad and hurt and I let her know it. What happened to co-parenting? She lets them do things we both agreed not to before, including one of my girls getting a spanking. I really don't believe in spanking, she said she did it because one of my girls threw a fit and hit her. Long story short it lead to me accusing her of abandoning the family, she cried, and conversation was over.

I was really upset she got them the dog without talking to me about it first, but Ive been told now that she's on her own, she can do what she wants and I really have no say. I feel like she did it to gain favoritism with the girls. Its out of my control now, I can't keep her from doing things like that. So I told the girls they can have the puppy here at my house when they stay with me.

W and I talked the next morning, we agreed to be civil, but Im not happy shes not sticking to things we agreed to regarding raising our girls. Ive decided not to get mad anymore (its very hard, but its so obvious every time I do get upset, it just makes things worse)

So all this week during exchanges and other conversation, we've been friend(ly).

Last weekend the girls where with her, and I went out Friday and Saturday nite doing things I used to 10 years ago. Bad idea. It just depressed me even more. Just clubbing, drinking and spending too much.

Its going on one month now, and the only good days so far where two week ends ago when I had the girls, and we just did lots of things together. I have them this weekend and will do the same.

Right now I have no peace, I'm torn apart inside, I'm depressed big time, I work from home all day alone, and alone most of the time except when the girls are with me. I know, I need to GAL, I tried that last week end, but I think I just went in the wrong direction.

But my focus now is to put the anger away, and try to put it back on me and my girls.

*****

W just dropped of the girls. She looked ready to go out, I know she will be spending weekend with OM. Valentines day weekend, we got married on Valentines Day in 04.

I didnt say much, just asked her (nicely) if she's had any luck finding any work. Really bugs me she's not working, has time to do what ever she wants on my dime. I just wished her luck, and asked if there was anything the kids needed for school. And there was a few things, which I gave her a check for, and of course noted what it was for.

Man, what a mess. Spending some time tonite with the girls definitely helps, taking them to the library to get some books and movies and then to dinner.

I know I dont post a lot, but I appreciate any advice or words or wisdom anyone out there has for me. ALOT,