Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

It really doesn't hurt him to not claim S. Because I am S's sole provider and especially if H is wanting lower child support it is finacially better for me to claim him always. It also becomes hairy with child care tax law (I did my homework). Because I am S's custodial parent only I can claim any child care paid so by H claiming S every other year, that is money every other year I am not allowed to claim. Also as S gets older and is in college, I will be the one paying his college bills, but if H claims him, I will not be able to claim the HOPE credit. It just all becomes very cloudy if H wants to flip flop and honestly he doesn't need it. I will say I get a lot of deductions being a teacher (so does he), and my offerings to church are deductible and so is the house, but he chose to leave and not have those deductions. The child tax credit I plan to use to fix parts of the house and to also put some away for college for S. It is the one time I get money from the government for being a mom.

With H he doesn't pay much. If we had more kids that would be one thing, but we only have S and we are young and if he gets his way, he will probably be only paying $400 in child support a month that doesn't even pay for child care.

I have been in anxiety mode all day and it probably won't subside for a few days. I can tell because my sugar is going crazy. I am going to try to relax tonight and the rest of the weekend. I did my homework and now know how to talk to my L. For child support, H will pay what the courts say, but the tax part I am not ok with and same with the mortgage.

I believe in God and HE has helped me so far with my finances, and I know he will continue. It was hard yesterday when I read the agreement because I started to cry fearign I will lose everything. I was in my room and S came in to ask why I was crying. I just told him someone had hurt me and I was upset. He asked who and I didn't tell him. Later on, I text H to ask about if he wants S overnight this weekend (it isn't always overnight and it is only friday into Saturday) and had S talk to him (although S fought me on it). Saturday is our 12 year dating anniversary and V-day weekend...hard weekend ahead and with a hard couple of days to start it.

Going to try and calm down now.