Sounds like H has a lot to untangle, and not much in the way of good role models.
You've been holding things together I suspect. You must be tired and probably feel it's unfair. I would. So when you interact with H you both probably anticipate tension and conflict.
I don't know why I ask this but can you and H be together and not talk about anything...my W and I sometimes watch TV shows at night when we are too tired to talk. Just by sitting a little closer than I might like to when we're disagreeing sort of sends a signal, like I'm mad but I'm still here. I don't know - maybe that wouldn't work for anyone else. When I want my W to know I'm sorry I let her pick some chick flick, someting with Brad Pitt in it usually, and I try to stay awake for at least an hour. <Yes, I've seen pretty much all of Brad's movies.> When I'm really in a foul mood I watch the same movie and when W and I were good she'd watch it againa dn again. Point is, we didn't talk. Maybe there is something you do/did together like this? Get the feeling you read alot. Maybe that would work.
As you know, I'm in no situation to offer real advice. Except to say that the things I hear on this site make sense to me and seem to work....when I let them.
