when I was heading off to college my mom and I got into a big fight. She wrote an apology note and went to slide it in my journal (which I never locked) In doing so, she read my journal.
It is one of the times I felt most violated (even more so than the affair my ex had) because my journal, my writings were safe.
I didn't read through my journal to see what she had read (she was angry and something I wrote and said it painted her in a bad light...my take was, it wasn't for ANYONE else to read...it was mine, I could paint her however I wanted) I burned the journal.
It has taken me a long time to keep one again I never write with complete abandon again. I didn't talk to my mom for at least a year
You keep saying (and I can't tell tone from computer writing but I teach writing so I KNOW tone and it seems to seep from your posts) that someone else reading that stuff would have left
if that is how you feel self-righteous like look how great you are that you haven't left, look how "taking the high road" you are...
there is no point in staying
feeling big by making others feel small is no way to be cut her loose and don't pretend feel big another way
if however, you are feeling like your self-esteem has been shaken (which I get) and you are unsure of where you stand with her but you hope it is in a good place (again, I get) and you really want her to love you
then you need to modify your terms (like in therapy, saying look how I have taken the high road) because I would have walked out if I were your wife
everyone makes mistakes in their relationships
you will get nowhere if you don't acknowlege that your mistakes were just as damaging and just as hurtful as hers
