Will do, so many of us to follow - so little time.
I completely realize I'll be devastated but at this point I'm starting to realize that it might be necessary. I've managed to get through everything else - I'll get through seperation.
No the bedtime thing was something that came a couple years ago a bunch of times. W would be at work or out and I would just doddle on getting the kids to bed. We'd have a routine, but I just never took it seriously. I've been so involved and with the routine since D2 was born, and even into and afte the bomb. I just had a bad night last night, didn't want to follow the routine - just was off. My kids were happy, it made me feel better. I was planning to get them to bed, and normally it wouldn't even have mattered if my W got hom 11pm+
No it has nothing to do with kids, although I do fear being rejected by them after the split. My W made those feelings worse last week by telling me that D6 asked her if "when daddy leaves he isn't going to take his computer is he?" My W thought it was funny that was all she was concerned with.
The reality is with each child I've learned to be a better father and appreciate the gift of getting to be a father. I have a stronger bond with D5 than I do with D6 and I have a stronger bond with D2 than I do with D5. I guess just the way you learn in life. I love them all more than anyone else in the this world.
As for the sex thing, unfortunately I've always been fairly active in my desire/drive. My W helped to develop that when we dated because she satisfied the desire, but the longer we were married her desire to satisify it dropped. Until the point were she acted as if it was a job - even though I know she enjoyed it. She used to say, "I have no idea why you want to have sex, since we are done having kids?"
I just miss it a lot, but I'm not going to do anything stupid to satisfy the urge. I'll do the solo thing to ensure no mistakes are made.
I really hope she feels the same.
Me - 34 W - 33 M - 8 years T - 15 years D7, D5, D2 Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY" W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011
