A VERY Long Engagement

[2stepboogie]

Bolt,

Keeping the expectations just right is the hard part. Sometimes I catch myself saying "easy killer....you had a nice talk that is all it was don't start reserving the rental truck just yet" I get so pumped that I have to talk myself down. The higher the climb the faster the fall!

Gypsy,

Re-building trust is the single hardest thing I think we can do. We can't do it until we start talking and developing friendship. I guess the part I was missing in the beginning was the fact that every conversation does not have to be about M. Last night for example we talked about vacuums for her mother. I caught myself on the Lowes website checking out vacuums without her knowledge and almost bought one and had it shipped without saying a word to her. I stopped and thought........how would this be perceived.......I am still undecided. She made a comment yesterday that true compassion is giving without expecting anything in return. She is right, but how will it be perceived?

grr,

"and though she may be considering reconciliation, she is protecting you just in case
that is what we, as women do"

This is a very good point! I have not looked at it from that angle at all but it makes sense. At this juncture we just don't know but I do know she has gone from he!! NO to thinking of me in a more positive light.

When we spoke about DVD's yesterday she mentioned she had only taken 8 DVD from out collection and Knocked Up was one of them. She said "that was a very fun date we had, when we went to see that at the movies together" This comment is important simply because it shows that some positives are starting to come back.

So... from a girl who has dumped a few guys (sorry), she is not talking like someone who is about to get divorced.

Lis this is the first time in my life I have been dumped! I am going to call all my previous gf and apologize . This is the part that I has always baffled me, for a woman who is "done" she sure talks to me a lot. Before though I just didn't get it the whole detachment thing or the give them space comment. My DB coach said something very interesting to me. "I think that your impression is if you are nice and let her go she will leave. If you validate and agree with her decision to leave she will stop calling you. The opposite is true. Don't be scared to let her go. Allow her time and space, that is what she is craving and screaming at you right now" At first that comment scared me. I think I get it now.

Ummm... the book her sister gave her??? She read that to you? grr is right, as usual, she's fighting pride right now. Perhaps she will use God as the "excuse" to come back (the best excuse there is, IMHO). I just love, love, love that whole exchange. From Genesis to Corinthians... so much scripture on why coming back to 2Step is the right thing to do for Mrs. 2Step.

When she first mentioned the book thing I was "thanks SIL you Bi#%%!!" After she began to read it I was like "Thanks SIL, that is a great book" LOL. It was a fun read.

Tell me, any mention of the paperwork??? You were real concerned about that a couple of days ago. Has she breathed a word?

I am soo glad you ask this question LIS because there has been 0 mention of this. I almost slipped a few times and asked if she received the paperwork but I didn't. The closes I came was asking her if mail had resumed because of the snow but it was done in such a way that she did not know my reasoning for asking. I really don't know what to make of this. Is this good? Is this bad? The subject has been completely mute.