Go spend some time on my thread. I went through many of the same feelings you did. I got to a point where I couldn't wait for my H to leave because I couldn't take it anymore. For me, the separation was the right thing. But, I have to warn you, I was still devastated. I mean, I wanted him gone, but once he was, not so much...
So... tell me something. This bedtime thing is a reoccurring theme. Are you doing it on purpose? You acknowledge that you know it will upset her, yet it has happened a few times. Or is it more about trying to gain approval from the kids because you feel so beat up? If it's the latter, the kids love you no matter what. But you had a goal to restore your marriage and you probably need to refocus. If it's the former, well I've been there and I am not judging, but you have to stop. You have to stop for your own peace and sanity.
As far as the sex thing goes... boy, I think all of us can relate. There's no fix to it unless we're aiming to really destroy our marriage so I wouldn't focus on it too much. But you're not alone, that's for sure!!!
SIC, hang in there. I know how you're feeling. I'm praying for you.
