Another big step forward this morning. One of the things that has really strained my feelings for my H over the years, is that when there's a time of stress or crisis, he'll often either say the worst, unsupportive thing I can imagine, or, he'll bail, leaving me mentally or physically alone to deal with whatever's just happened. But this morning... wow... this is what happened:
I'd had an AWFUL night of sleep because of horrid nightmares that woke me up at 4am, then anxiety that kept me awake for a long time afterwards. (I think all due to coming off this stupid anti-anxiety med)
So when we finally get up for the day, H says good morning and asked how I was. I told him not well, and just that I woken up early again. He didn't say anything, but after I had my shower I found him waiting for me in the bedroom. He asked me again if everything was alright. So I fessed up and told him that I'd had nightmares again, and what did he say? He said - with SO much kindness and empathy in his voice and manner - "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that... do you want to talk about it?"
That, men, is the golden question. I actually didn't even want to talk about the nightmares at all (they were THAT frightening and repulsive) and until then, I'd been still stewing over them. But once he asked... it made me feel like he CARED about what happens to me and WOULD talk with me about it if I wanted him to... god. You have no idea the relief that washed over me. Gave me tears in my eyes; I thanked him so much for just asking, and was surprised how much better I felt after that. I stopped stewing, and we went and played with the pups for a while I drank my coffee.
Note to self: It's also a golden reminder to ME to spit out the actual honest-to-god real problem right when it happens. If I wouldn't have, maybe he wouldn't have even asked and I'd still be stewing.
Before he left for work we had a long, warm hug.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
