Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got the property agreement from H, and I am so upset and angry and just AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

He put in that he wants to have visitation as described in the parenting guidelines, and that would be great, but he hasn't done that and S doesn't want to do that. S won't even talk to H during the week. S spends the night Friday into Saturday and that is it. When I bring up him doing more, H says he is ok with things as they are.

He also wants less child support based on having him overnight. He has him at most 24 times a year maybe 30, but that is not enough to change the child support and even then he is "living" (really he lives with OW somewhere) with his parents and that is where S goes. His parents are paying for the food and the housing bills and everything else so why should he get a credit when he isn't paying extra. Plus he only is paying $540 a month based on the right now and he said that was good with him, but now he wants less? He wants the child support based on what he is going to do in the future...that is not how it works.

Then he wants to do child tax exemption every other year. Once again he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't pay for even a quarter of the bills for S so why should he get to deduct him. I could see if he was doing the actual visitation and it was at his place, but it isn't. I pay for everything myself, and the child support takes care of child care, but that is it. I pay for everything else so why should he ever get the tax break.

He also wants to have S for half the summer and all this other stuff. Once again he doesn't ever ask and doesn't follow through. H had off last Thursday for a snow day. I had school, but did he call to have S for an extra day, NO. He doesn't ask so why put it in there so when he feels like it he can hold it over my head. I always have let him have access to S, but he doesn't ever take it so why put it in there.

Finally he wants me to refinance within 4 years. IT IS NOT POSSIBLE! We did what a lot of people did 5 years ago and fully financed our house. I (remembering I have been paying all bills since forever, but especially the last two years) have paid down the house to 5%, but I can't refinance on that, and won't be able to in 4 years. He says he can't do anything because of the house, but I just talked to our mortgage company and once the decree is done he will be off of the loan and it won't affect his ability to do anything like rent an apartment (although he had one he was about to move into in Apr 2009 so why he can't now I don't understand). He is trying to drown me. And the biggest kicker is if I can't refinance in 4 years, he wants me to sell the house and I have to not hold him at fault for any defiicit in the selling. He is making me sell and I have to pay for it...I don't think so.

I am talking to my lawyer on Monday and hopefully I can get some of this cleared up. The tax thing I will have to fold on, but the house thing is not a problem if I have more time to refinance. If he wants it sooner I am going to sue for the $ he owes in mortgage payments for when he was out with OW and not divorcing me, but also not helping to pay either.

This could get ugly and I don't want it to, but I will go there if I have to....Really upset and scared I will lose my house.