FOBD, I'm a control freak!!!! I mean how stupid is that? Control is an illusion just like security. There is no such thing. How can I know this logically but still struggle with letting it go??
Dixie, PLEASE HELP ME. I'm studying everything and anything I can about unconditional love. I'm trying so hard to not have the resentment you talked about, but I can't seem to hold it together for any length of time. What is wrong with me? I know these feelings are the kiss of death for my marriage. Why can't I pull it together??? I mean who the heck am I to judge my husband when he felt just as abandoned when I got depressed as I do now?
Gypsy, thanks for the thoughts, they mean a lot. It's easy to talk to you guys. Part of it is that I still get to hide (not so good). Part of it is that I know everyone of us identifies with each other. (Which is very good). It used to be that my day was determined by what my H was doing or not doing. But now, I draw such strength from you guys. I mean, I yell at my screen sometimes for some things done or said on someone's thread, I laugh my behind off A LOT, I cry because someone is down, and boy, I scream in triumph when something good happens. I swear it's like watching a football game sometimes.
Denver, grr, 2Step, ironman, thanks so much for the thoughts and concern. It means so much. I'm so sorry that I am falling apart here. I don't do this. This isn't me. Yet here I am falling apart...
Sorry for disappearing yesterday. We had a snow storm hit. H spent the night at the house. Not too much to report about that except I didn't hide in the bedroom. He wanted to stay over but I wanted to be in my living room. So there I stayed until bed... I thought it would be uncomfortable, but it wasn't. He actually asked me to come have a smoke with him at work today which is like the first time in better than a month. OW, according to rumor mill at work, gets to town next week. He, though, is booking a trip out of town??? Don't know if I'm wrong about all of this, if he's trying to throw me off or I'm right but things in paradise aren't so paradisey (new word, not yet in dictionary, but I LIKE it).
Anyway, want to get caught up with everyone else. You all (that's y'all for Dixie - did I spell that right? God, I've been in TN a year, I should have this down by now) better have some good news for me!!!
