Awww... Dixie, big hugs for you today. I am so sorry for all the pain that you are in. It does get better even though you don't feel that right now. It does.
You have to stop saying that you are a fool for fighting for your marriage. These are your values and principles and they are good and that doesn't make you foolish. Remember, what we are told, "be in the world, but not of the world." Meaning, maybe our values here aren't all that conventional, maybe others would have quit a long time ago, but we are holding ourselves to higher values. There will be those, and have been those, who accuse us of doing that simply to meet our own needs and wants. And that's fine. We know what is in our heart. God knows what is in our heart. There will be plenty of others to judge you. Don't judge yourself like that.
So let's think of some things to do this weekend... I have to workout and actually take down my Christmas decorations. But I need something fun to do...
But I need something fun to do... 