Seminole, I'm sorry to hear that your W has filed for a D. Sounds like she is doing things impulsively and out of anger. She is not thinking clearly at all but part of your 180 is to do something different. Validate what she has said to you when the time is right. Even tho she has had a PA from a women's perpsective, she did it as a big mindf*** to you. Sometimes us women can do really irrational things especially if we are hurt, angry, you don't hear us and feel our backs against the wall.
Keep re-reading DR. Start setting small goal for yourself. Go visit Bolt's thread about small goal setting 101. It's been really helpful at least for me.
My H told me that I was manipulative and selfish. That I never heard him in anything. That one day I was going to be alone. I was in denial for the longest time until I read DR and got in with a great C. As much as I hated to admit it, he was right on all counts.
Listen to what she is telling you from that list. Practicing more of the same will only get you more of the same. When you start making the changes, they will become easier over time. You will be a changed man for yourself and hopefully your W. Moving on still doesn't mean you have to give up. Show her you can be the greener grass.
Hang in there and know that we are here for you. Please keep posting.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
