So, this morning I'm in a funk. It's Thursday my H only day off. H said, he would call me prior to let me me know if he would be working or not. If he was not, then he wanted us to meet for dinner. That was this past Sunday morning when I spoke to him.
I'm so sad and have been in tears all morning. I'm trying so hard to not give up and loose faith. I pray for our marriage to be restored. I'm staying dark and I'm not pursuing at all. But, it feels like he is only moved farther away and disconnected from me.
I just feel that after all this, after everything we've been through that he could see how much I love him and come back. Maybe, I'm a fool for thinking all this. I don't know...
How can someone just walk away like that??? I will never understand it as much as I try....I could never do that to him. I just couldnt hurt him like that on purpose.
I'm sorry yall...I'm just a crying wreck today. Just when I think I have a handle on it. It hits me real hard all over again. I'm so tired...this is on my mind every second of every day. I can not even sleep w/out dreaming of it. When I do sleep.
Valentines Day and my H Birthday is all in the next two weeks. GOD please give me the strength!
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010