Hi. My W doesn't do the pursuing thing. Never has. It's always been me pursuing her. That has done a real number on my confidence and our R. I've basically convinced myself that she's not really into me, and IS into an OM. She says she doesn't do feelings and "I love you's" and I should know that she loves me just b/c she's still around.
My take on the DBing advice is not to be needy, too available, or pushy. And don't let yourself be taken advantage of. But the occasional compliment or flirty smile? Oh, I can't even begin to explain what that means to us men. I would give my right arm to feel my wife pursuing me for a little while. And, of course, it would end with me pursuing her back.
