I am sorry it took me so long to visit your thread listen we have all been here in some form or another, now is NOT the time to fall apart. I know you are hurting brother, I have cried the tears and I have folded like a lawn chair in my kitchen floor for an hour weeping like a small child. That is OK! The days will get less dark and the sun WILL come out tomorrow. Only you can decide what deal breakers are but I will refrain from making those decisions while you are feeling this heartbreak and in a state of anger. Decisions like these are better left for when you have a clear mind and a healed heart.
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I thought I was ready to DB my rear off and I failed miserably
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My man this takes practice and it requires more discipline than you could possibly imagine at this point. I have been trying for months and I still screw it up. Check out my thread and you can see for yourself. Be patient with yourself but most importantly because of the volatile nature of your sicth you need a time out. You need to give her space and you need space DO NOT contact her unless it has something to do with the kids.
Her email is written in anger but the more you go after her the angrier she will become. You need to GET IT and right now you are showing her that you do not.
Simple formula to follow: 1. Do not use FIL to attain your goals. Only YOU can do this. 2. NEVER use the kids as a bridge between you are your W. She will see it and it is not fair for the kids. 3. Stay dark for a few days and start learning how to take care of yourself. Start by visiting us often.
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I think she is heading towards a deal breaker for me.
Only you can decide this. No one on this board can help you with your boundaries. I know what mine is. Do you?
Your last entry breaks my heart and I know the pain you are under. Felt it with my first W and I remember it vividly. As I read your sitch I realize both of you are acting out of anger, all this is doing is hurting your M and both of you are making poor choices along the way.
Take a deep breathe because even though it feels like it is the world is not ending and you will not die from this. Right now is all about you and those words mean nothing but they will. Welcome to the High Way to Hell. I can promise you two things 3 things
1. You will suffer like you have never suffered before 2. You will meet the most amazing people in the world 3. You will come out a better person regardless
