What should I do?

[Forrest Gump]

"I felt mocked Forest. I also interpreted this as a not so subtle STFU."

It again was never meant that way. I was hoping you would follow the train and come right back at me. I was ready for a beat down. Or at least some hostility. One thing I have learned is that you have to "see" the other side. You have to "see" what the WAS is. Just because my post count beats yours does not mean I am smarter or better than you. I am posting in the "newcomer" section. Everyone can see it. Yes.. I would like things to not be the cut and dry stuff that most people will post. But I don't fault you for doing just that. I appreciate that you took the time to post. Most people won't. You did. My walk here has allowed me to "play" both sides(W/H). I am most likely going to learn from the "reaction" to what I typed out. I am so much better at things "here" than I am in RL because I can digest it and not have to think on the fly. This is why a wall of text is fine with me. I can't explain it any other way than it is just the way my brain works.

"Perhaps an agreed upon personal signal or transition phase for you both?"

See.. I like that. Just not sure how to broach that subject or what to suggest. When I come home.. I am the "Go Boy" meaning I "Go" get dinner.. I "Go" to the store.. I just "Go". By the time I have finished "Go Boy" it is time for her to go to sleep. We used to talk just before she went to bed. But then the son kept coming in. And she would "snuggle" with him. Plus it was way past bed time. (For him)

So work your magic and give me some simple terms there. If you were in that situation with me.. what would you want me to do?

"As for your porn and drinking...well Forest - teenage boys ogle porn, teenage boys drink to excess and do stupid things while intoxicated. I can tell you then this woman sees "the boy inside the man" and as much as I find that boy charming and engaging, I don't want him in control of the man."

Ok.. I made to big a deal about the porn. So just for the sake of discussion lets limit it to my "drinking". 90% of my drinking happens after she has hit the bed. Not recently.. but before all "this" started. Again.. it is a cycle. We are almost where we were in early 2007. The porn use has just cropped up recently. I question somewhat your perspective of the "Boy in the man". To be honest with you.. looking back.. she liked the "Boy" more. Again.. I get it.. just not sure I totally am on the same page with you.

"I second MsRae here. Affirm her, affirm her and affirm her more.
Why? For every negative thing we hear, you need seven positive statements to undo it."

I was gonna grab your whole statement. But.. this I think encompass everything. I know that I need to "Know my wife". But I have to apply that same thought to her. She should "Know Me".

I understand that by being a man I have to bear the burden of doing "more".

Things from my POV at this point are pretty even.

When should I expect "something" from her?

Take away how much "time" is involved on my part.

I mean damn.. I am posting and pouring my heart out to try and grasp at "something". I have said everything to her I have said here. She even said to me the other night that I see you posting on DB.com. She knows my user name.. she can google it up.

There has to be a win-fall somewhere.

"Oh Forest I'm so sorry. I can see why you're hugely disappointed. I hope you don't use the phrase "get some" with her?"

The words in "" came from her.. and her thoughts on what I want.