What should I do?

[Forrest Gump]

"I used the wrong verbiage. I shouldn’t have said offend. I should have said hurt you further."

I get it.. but.. there really is not much you could say that would "hurt" me. I have lived with "labels" all my "life" both here and in RL. Sometimes I don't get why people are scared of me.. or offending me. You had the thought that you could post something of value.. and you did. I really like that.

"I am trying to shut up and learn. I have read for hours and hours."

I was the same way when I started posting. Good for you for "stepping out". Still kinda am to a point. I am a bit more sure of myself now.. but I kinda think like you do.

"I guess my point is that she may need words and not actions. This may be something that she needs from you and doesn’t even know."

This could be true. I am not really sure 100%. My take on it is that my words and actions are not what she is expecting. I have asked.. she has told me.. I have tried different things but that has not been working. At the very least I was "Doing Work" in early 2008. I can't tell you for sure that I was the one that stopped. It seemed to fade away. With the mind of a DAM (Dumb A$$ Man) I felt like I was clear on what she wanted.. but missed something somewhere. This leads to my "sliding scale" idea. Or to be more clear sometimes I really wonder if she knows what she wants.

"Many people don’t know themselves very well. It’s easy to point out the “stuff” another person is or isn’t doing. It may be harder for her to admit that she needs to be flattered. It makes one sound shallow, but most people love to hear it. It feels good. I just know that most of my girlfriends would get very wistful when they would see the way my h spoke to me."

That would be my case in point here. I like "undressing". If I can ask for that.. why should it be hard for her to ask for whatever it is that she really needs. "Spend time with the kids" takes on lots of meanings. Whereas my thought is pretty simple. This brings on her thought that she has "left me behind". Not sure how to overcome that.

"Could she be in MLC? Some of what you say she is doing is all over the place."

I don't think she is. MLC and WAS have alot of the same symptoms. The biggest difference is that a MLC'r typically thinks of themselves first. By definition I am closer to a MLC than she is. I still think she is just a WAS. She can "see" something better. What that is.. I don't know.

"I read through all of the posts between you and smartcookie. You made me take a very hard look at myself and things I needed to fix that I didn’t even know where there. You have helped many people here and you didn’t even know it. I’ve enjoyed your honesty, the way you respond and make people think."

I miss Smartcookie. At the end there we were not getting along well. She is a fantastic person. She is beautiful. I chose to be me until the end. I was a little bit "hurt" that she felt I was attacking her. After all that was how we became "friends". I don't fault her for her choices. I wish her the best. I "love" honest people.

When I came here and was looking for help I just saw so many "simple" things that could be changed.. that would affect people. Then I thought that if I could effect a change in just 1 person.. that would be my contribution to this place. That idea was fueled by lots of "Emotions" and it did not work out for the best all the time. But in the end I am pretty happy with what I represent "here".

You do know that means you are gonna have to post to more people now.. right?

Cause if I can't make a go of this situation I am in now.. no one will respect me.

Thank you so much for your kind words. It means alot to me that I could help. Even if I did not intend to.

I am just an everyday guy. Trying to make it everyday.