I haven't done everything wrong...

[Denver_2010]

Islander... No offense, but you don't know anything right now. You don't know what your W is thinking. Honestly man, I know that you think that you do, but you don't. And to top it off, I can say with a fair amount of confidence bc I have been where you are, you are not thinking clearly.

My advice... do NOT draw any, and I mean ANY, lines in the sand right now.

A quick story how my INaction on something that I was so sure would work with my W has now worked in my favor:

In November, a few days after W dropped the bomb on me that she LYBNILWY, that she was leaving, and that M was over, and after a few days of crying and pleading with my W to change her mind, I contacted a divorce attorney. This attorney is a fairly close friend of mine. I was thinking that the M was over, that I needed to start thinking D, so I scheduled an appointment to sit down with this attorney. In hindsight, I was NOT thinking clearly.

After scheduling the appointment with the attorney, I decided that I was going to proactively file for a D. Now I'm an attorney myself and it would have taken me about 30 minutes to complete the paperwork, write a check for the filing fee, and file it with the court. It would have taken me about another 18 hours to get it served on my W.

I had court with a client of my own in the same jurisdiction that my W and I live in. Afterward I finished with my own client, I walked into the domestic relations area of the courthouse and got the required paperwork. I sat down to complete it and my intent was to file it and then have it served.

Coincidentally, a friend of mine called me on my cell right before beginning this. I told him what I was doing and he suggested that I wait a little while before I did anything rash. I thought about it and decided to heed his advice. I took the paperwork home and put it on my counter.

Well, I never filed that paperwork and I ended up canceling the appointment with that attorney. Almost 3 months later, a D has not been filed by either me or my W, and I still have not met with my attorney friend.

What's more, is that I am having dinner with my W tomorrow night to discuss our M. I don't know if that will go well or not, but what I do know, is that if I had filed for a D back in November, it would not be happening.

My "theory" at the time that I was considering for filing for a D myself was that it would wake my W up to the reality of what she was doing. It would make her see the light... that she was going to lose me by choosing to leave me.

See, I didn't want a D... I didn't want to start the process myself... My idea was going to be used as a strategy to get my W back... BC I THOUGHT that I knew how my W would respond. Bc I THOUGHT That I was thinking rationally at the time.

Just food for thought man.

BITS
Denver