W in long PA with another woman. I'm devastated.

[sparks14]

I think killing the demons that cause mistrust is something that I want to seek. By my actions, I hope that my wife follows that lead.

One more thing Sparks, and I don't want you to feel like I am hammering you on the head all the time....

Do this, because it is who you are, not to "show" her anything...

I'm pretty sure you will, I just want you to remember that you kill the Demon from his loneliness...

Thanks again, Mach. GAL. I am a provider by nature. It will be difficult to change that.

I had a few thoughts about the emails being introduced during therapy. My recent thoughts.

1. I am sure my wife read through them last night to figure out exactly what I know from those emails. As destructive as those emails were, I still took the higher road and showed her this love and compassion and a willingness to make it work. Not sure many would do that based upon what was written in the heat of that affair.

2. The affair and the emails can now be put in the past in my mind. I will not ask questions regarding the OW or the details of the affair. Wife probably understands now that I know many of the details. The emails are also in the past. Put them behind us and only look towards the future. Detach as many of you have told me. Think positive about the future and not dwell on the hurt from the past.

3. Now that the emails are in the open, there is no reason to hide. Honesty from here on out. Transparency may be asking to much at this moment, but I hope it will get there. No more petty lies. There have been a few in the last week that my wife told me to my face that I would not have known if I had not read the emails. Emails are over. Dishonesty is over. We start fresh. Honest.

I am sure wife somehow feels deceived that I invaded her privacy regarding reading her email in the manner that I did. I still at this time find it was justified due to my suspicions and the fact, that my wife was taking my son to stay with OW for days at a time without notice. Yes, I betrayed her. Some will say, the betrayal of the affair itself weighs heavier, others will say a lie is a lie. At this point, I am willing to approach it slowly to get over both as long as there is remorse both ways. Time will only tell.

Thanks all for you advice. I wish sometimes that I could pay this community instead of my therapist (which I do like).