Hmm, out of nowhere ...... Mom called today and said "we needed some time, but just lately we are more at peace with whatever is going to happen. W can come up with the family this weekend if she wants to"
So, I guess now I can throw it to W. I don't think she'll accept but that way the decision will be hers???
Sandi .... help!!!
I think that you should do it very, very casually Ironman. MHO.
BTW - love the new name!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I am usually the doubting thomas on this board. My situation didn't work out and the divorce is just about final. It took awhile, but everything ended up ok for the most part. Moved on, dating again, kids allright..
However,you are the first guy I have read about that actually has a legitimate shot at making this happen. You are doing all the right things from a DB perspective. I found that we don't heal until we give up hope, except our fate and move on. That is when you find if your W really wants the divorce. Well, mine did...However, yours appears to be rethinking everything by her actions. Stay Strong. I am with you on the lifting everyday. Makes a huge difference in how you feel about yourself..
Good Luck.
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
I completely understand how you're feeling. Most likely, it is nothing. Our imaginations can get the best of us if we let them. Hell, I'm the king of that!
You are right, there is nothing that you can do about it unless you decide to call the girlfriend in Chicago. Of course, I STRONGLY advise AGAINST this.
When we ask those innocent questions, we set ourselves up for what you are feeling right now. Again, you're talking to the king of doing this kind of stuff.
I think that the best thing to do is to stay away from asking those questions and hope for the best. If, later, we find out something bad has happened, we deal with it then. Honestly, this is the only choice that we have right now.
I know that this is much easier said than done though.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I keep asking myself .... ok ... what if she were going to Chi to hang out with some guy .... then what would I do?
Maybe not knowing is better. After all, she already things she wants a divorce so I have no leverage to call her out on the BS anyway.
There is a difference between being in denial and snooping for the bad news though. I'm sure that, being in tech and all, I could find many a way to snoop if I thought that knowing would serve any purpose.
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
That's the thing Ironman, snooping does not serve any purpose right now. What are you going to do if you find out something is going on? And if you find out that everything is innocent? Does that change anything with what your W wants right now?
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Ugg ... she had NAIR out, and there were other obvious signs that she was shaving personal areas. WTF. Why would a woman do that if nobody were going to see it anyway?
I know there's nothing I can do about any of it. But I feel some anger welling up right now.
B.I.T.S
Formerly known as onStepAtATime Me:31 W:31 T:13 yrs M:8 yrs D: 20 months ILYBNILWY: 9/22/10 "I want a separation" 1/05/11
