Sounds like your H is trying to find himself and the man he used to be. That is a positive, right? Your BIL gave you good advice.

Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy
H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16

Dating 4/07
M 10/08
Bomb #1 12/10
Bomb #2 1/11
Bomb #3 12/11