The Moment of Clarity

[bustorama]

As the fantasy of her WAW plan comes crashing down, I am protecting her. But again, if I don't take some action to protect her, then I am the same a*s she left in the first place.

Tough choice and good point.

My on-line gaming addiction is what lead to my neglect of my wife. I ignored her.
Later when I LRTed, I ignored her as well.
How was it different?

On the surface? If you just look at the ignoring part...nothing.

But, I no longer played computer games. I worked out, when I was around her prior to the LRT I was as fun, and kind as I could be, I GALed, I proved I wanted her but did't need her, I showed her many of my changes.

When I LRTed, I took all of that away. All of it. I interacted strictly on a business level, regarding our boys and our bills.
I was not mean, I was not nice.

Previous to this, I ignored her because of my failing.
Afterwards, I ignored her because of hers.
In the middle I showed her that I had changed.

Make sense?

Hey, Jack, been awhile =) BTW, are you on the alt???

Few questions:
1) How long was your middle (changing/showing) phase?

2) How long was your LRT before W began her own changing?

3) How did you transition from your your own changing phase to the the LRT phase (speech? letter? just did it/moved on without any over declaration of what was happening)

I'm in dim/LRT myself now having "switched" over around New Year's from my changing phase. Curious how your own scenario went.

And Bob, good luck. She needs to change herself, your own actions cannot and will not do that for her. She needs to (keep) doing her own work. You can just work on yourself and your own feelings. If you try to do her work for her, you will be self-sabotaging and hurting yourself.