What you're going through is part of the process. Of course you just want to be "there," but the easy path is never the good path. You still need to process all the pain you swallowed while you put "saving the marriage" ahead of everything else. You need to honour all that pain ... and then discard it so that it won't rise up again in you in some form.
All of us ended up in Divorcebusting because our marriages had major flaws--owing to us never having been taught the skills necessary for satisfying communication, etc. Piecing is the part of the process where we put all the skills we've now learned into practice. Right now you're creating the foundation for the M that you hope will carry you through into old age, so it's worth taking the time to build it right (however long that takes).
I'm sorry so many stresses are piling up on you simultaneously.
