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Bolt #2128065 02/08/11 06:37 PM
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grr Offline
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vs, i think it is good he is still in the house
my husband left and believe me it hurts all the more
just have patience and keep doing what you are doing
and i agree, don't read into texts (boy did i just write that - i am the queen when it comes to that)
but it doesn't get you anywhere
lots of good thoughts your way


BITS
Bolt #2128160 02/08/11 11:12 PM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 330
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Please help me to understand something...I came home from work and things looked "off". Couldn't put my finger on it. I went to my closet and there were 2 strange items on the floor (I cleaned out the closet this past weekend) My daughter's Halloween costume from 18 years ago, a dress she wore to our weeding 12 years ago and three of his paycheck stubs from 2003. Nothing is missing and nothing of his is gone. I feel creepy.


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
verysad2day #2128168 02/08/11 11:46 PM
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and to make things even more confusing I just looked in his top drawer...back up, when he came home on Sunday from his trip, he was unloading his pockets and he threw some change, his wallet and a roll of bills rolled in rubberband. I didn't question anything and forgot about. But, today got me think and I opened his drawer. In plain sight was the roll of bills. It is 1802.00 WTF???? Ideas???? He wasn't hiding it. If he thought I would snoop why didn't he find a more secure place for it? Should I ask him about it? Shaking head


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
verysad2day #2128175 02/08/11 11:56 PM
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grr Offline
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nope
leave it alone
what good will asking do
about the stuff in closet; where were they before?


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grr #2128207 02/09/11 01:21 AM
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I have no idea where the stuff has been. One thing I know FOR SURE, they were not sitting on top of my shoes when I went to work this morning. He was still sleeping on the couch.


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
verysad2day #2128211 02/09/11 01:47 AM
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Shopping spree!!!!

Honestly, I agree with grr... leave it alone. Who knows what these guys are up to??? And if we could figure it out, I would be scared because it would make us just as twisted. Nope, I'm gonna keep doing my thing on the straight and narrow and leave the drama to my H. I suggest you do the same thing.

Take care of yourself!!!


Me- 40
H - 43
M - 5
T - 14
Separated 2/5/11
lostinscared #2128266 02/09/11 03:11 AM
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No really...I feel like I MIGHT BE THE ONE THAT IS DONE! I don't want to be, but I feel like my will for this marriage is weak, tonight. I had a heart to heart with myself...do I trust him...NO. If someone asked me 5 months ago if I wanted a divorce, I would have said hell yeah! As soon as I found about OW, I clung to the marriage so tight that I am sick. See, I bought this house 17 years ago. Because it is CA I will loose it all. All my hard work, all my love that went into restoring the house after the Northridge earthquake. He gets to sweep in and take it all away (in todays market) So confused. My friend asked if a million dollars landed in my lap, would I walk away....still restling with that idea


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
verysad2day #2128403 02/09/11 03:45 PM
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Posts: 330
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Back at work and I feel sick. Last night when he came home he didn't have 2 words to say to me. This morning when I left I told him to have a nice day and all he said was thanks. Usually he says the same in return. I feel so desperate right now


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
verysad2day #2128412 02/09/11 04:14 PM
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Posts: 667
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grr Offline
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i understand that sick feeling
it's like you don;t know how to get through the next 5 minutes
but you will and you do
think about how strong you felt last night
how empowered
you will probably have more nights like that and before you know it, you might really be done
and that is the moment they always seem to return
but you really need to feel it
not fake it
hope you are better
have a nice day and think about all the great things in your life
i am going to do the same


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grr #2128443 02/09/11 05:28 PM
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Posts: 330
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I don't feel empowered, I feel like a fool. Just how long am I to put up with him in the house not wanting to be married (I bought the house many years before we married. The nights are soooooo hard.


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
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