W in long PA with another woman. I'm devastated.

[sparks14]

Thank you all for your input. It really does help.

I have just one more question on how I discovered the affairs through the emails as well as a follow-up question that is not in the open and will need to be addressed (probably at our next couples therapy).

If I didn't check my wife's emails, the affair would still be going on. Nothing would have changed. The dishonesty would still be there. My S would be spending half the week with the OW. There would be no couples therapy, rebuilding, or healing.

Yes, I have found them. Yes, I used a mistrusting way to view them. What was the alternative? If I had simply asked my wife on a speculation, would she really have told me the truth?

I guess that I where I am coming from. I understand the two way betrayal and need to put it all in the past and work forward.

Question two. I am sure my wife is backtracking right now and reading through those 400 emails to find out exactly what I know. At some point soon, she is going to ask me if I have a copy of them. I do hold a sealed copy of them in a hidden place only if this ends poorly and goes to divorce. They are the backbone of any divorce based on infidelity. I was first told not to tell my wife of them. Too late. Too honest. I know the first question that I will get next week is if I have a copy of them (she already asked if my parents had a copy which they don't). For the sake of honesty and transparency, do I simply say yes? If she asks why, should I tell her that they are there for my protection in case things go poorly? If I asked a lawyer, I know they would tell me to lock them up. How do you go through trust knowing that I have that over her head?