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Glad you had a good time. Now is when the hard work begins. Consider this the deployment from hell;but don't let the time go to waste......take this time to find yourself and come here often. We help each other.


BITS

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Navyguy Offline OP
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What does everyone think the next step is? Just keep waiting for W to come around? Still not sure how to interpret the hug from W either.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2006
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Hey Navy,

Why inerpret it? Why not just take some comfort from it? You said it hasn't happened in (years?) a long while, you get one and it throws you for a loop?

Stop telling her you changed brother. Stop, show her instead, I know you don't get many chances to interact, but you do Skype.

If you tell me your the man you want to be, I'm not going to believe you, simply because we use words to convince ourselves...similar to the idea that you shouldn't trust a man who says "Trust me."



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Navyguy Offline OP
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J3B, thanks, you are right about the hug. It actually did throw me for a loop though...I couldn't believe it when she reached out to me. It really felt so good when it happened, I just need to cherish it for what it was.

In what ways can I show her the change on skype?

One thing I'm working on is selling my sports car so W can use the money to go to school. I haven't even asked her about it, just doing it because I know it's the right thing to do. school is one thing that is very important to her and i have stood in the way of it, or at best not encouraged it as much as i could have.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
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Be a good dad on it, interact nicely with her when the opportunity presents itself, let her see the changes.

The car IS really nice, but I hope you are doing it for the right reasons, not because your expecting her to come running back to you.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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Navyguy Offline OP
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I'm doing the car thing because I finally have my priorities straight. It's something I should have done years ago...and even if things don't work out between us I want her to have this.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 351
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Navyguy Offline OP
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Posts: 351
Rough night...my mind was spun up before bed last night and I had some terrible dreams about W and I getting a D in the few hours that I did sleep. I can't get this thought out of my head that she is just using the space I am giving her to make things easier on her until she can file (once she has been in Colorado for 90 days, I think she can, but I haven't talked to an A at all yet to know). I know its a horrible thought and it is not good for me to think that way, but I can't shake it and it is consuming me right now. I feel like I'm on the edge of losing it...


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
J
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J
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 11,646
Navy, I am sorry about the dream, look there are a few theories about dreams.

One of them is the product from transferring short term memory into long term memory.

One of them is about the subconscious playing around and keeping memories alive...

Those are the scientific reasons, none of those delve into dreams being predictors, or pre cog.

If they were, then one day soon, I'm going to be defending my chocolate castle from a horde of zombies...

Look keep doing what you are doing. Its a hard road, but its a good road.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

Joined: Dec 2010
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Navy, I had a bad dream last night as well. In it, my H was telling me that he is in love with another woman. I felt this feeling of utter devastation and I instantly woke up. This is, of course, one of my biggest fears - and the dream was not helpful at all.

But it's out of my control. In my waking hours, I am trying to fill myself up with positive things to re-enforce my positive outlook.

But I definitely am walking in your shoes.


Me: 33, H: 32
M: 12 years T: 13 years
No kids
D-Day: 7/2009
Separated: 10/12/10
Future Unknown
GITS

"There's a fire starting in my heart, reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark." - Adele
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NG....

Been there with the dreams...

I had a freaky one the other night....3 1/2 years later....

Might I suggest Nyquil ? The sleep-aid of champions ?


I'm gonna play a little word association game here with ya....

IF I would say......Franconia....

Would you say North or South ?

One word answer is all I need....

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