H is out of town for the day, I have the boys (well, they are in school). I'm doing laundry and I go to put it away in H's drawers. I've never done this, don't know why I did it today. Usually I just leave a pile for him to put away but I guess I got tired of the pile of clean laundry (he takes forever to put clothes away) and so I went to put them in his drawers. I go to shove his boxers in his underwear drawer and I see something red and satin. I pull on it and it's a brand new pair of Santa boxers with a matching red satin hat. Tags still on. But with them came out a pair of used (but clean) women's lace panties. Not mine.
I am devastated.
I don't know how old they are, if they are from this past December's "separation" or from the XW (of 4 years ago). I can't remember H cleaning out any drawers since we met so I don't know. Shaking, I called him. I know I probably shouldn't have, but I did. I told him what I found. He swears they are the XW's. )#&%$%&$()%*$&^& Really????? Ok, men.... do any of you keep panties from XW's that you left? According to him, they must be hers because he has no idea how they got in there. But he knew what I was talking about when I bought them up. He never asked what they looked like, what color, size, etc. He asked what the boxers looked like though.
I am tempted to e-mail the XW a photo of the panties and ask her if they are hers but I won't. I'm too scared to find out they aren't hers. I know they aren't hers.
So who do they belong to and when? When we were dating? Between me and the XW because he told me that he hadn't slept with anyone else but me after her. It seems more likely during December. I find them with Santa boxers and a hat? When did he cheat though? The only time he's unaccounted for is the night I had to sleep in the truck but the boys were home. He wasn't on-line on the dating site then, no e-mails that night. Maybe he wasn't home, maybe he went out that day while I went to the wedding alone. My imagination is on overdrive now.
I know my husband is a liar and a salesman. I know he will tell me anything for his own benefit. I know he was on dating sites while sleeping with me and telling me things with us where good.
Right now, things with us are better than they have been for 2 years. No fighting, ML twice a day (from zero for months), talking, laughing, he's trying, being attentive, etc. Trying to get over December but over all, it's been good. But is it only good because he's trying to cover up cheating? The old sayings about when a man suddenly changes for the better or doesn't want sex or wants a lot more sex... he's cheating. Just ringing in my ears.
I feel stupid right now. For second-guessing myself, for believing him, for not believing him, for not knowing what reality is anymore.
Me - 38, 2nd M, no living children, 1 forever 6 yr old boy H - 44, 3rd M, twins 16
Dating 4/07 M 10/08 Bomb #1 12/10 Bomb #2 1/11 Bomb #3 12/11
