will this letter do more damage than good?

[ScaredinCanada]

I saw that you sent it!

That's why I hadn't replied yet...

I agree that I don't see how this will help. I've done all of these things as well, but always just my words I've never sent a letter.

Regardless I think we can overcome these setbacks, and I think once in a while doing some sort of "temperature check" for ourselves isn't the worst thing we could do.

Unfortunately I tend to receive mixed responses from my W, probably as a result of whatever her current mood was.

I have to keep reminding myself that the pursuing in ANY FORM is not helping the sitch. I can clearly see that more I detach, the more I am mysterious (so to speak) and make her curious the better the results are...

All of the times I've used the approaches recommended in DR or by allies on this board they worked. My W has inititated R talk or at least showed an interest in me.

Although right now I believe she only wants to be "friends", as she loves to talk to me about what the kids are doing or about "how crappy work is". For now that works, because hopefully she'll actually see my changes and will start to question her position.

I still think that right now, she can see this clearly because will still live together. I know that will be the case for some period of time (at least 3 months) after that I'm not sure how it will change (although DB'ing will be easier).

I/We need to take it one day at time, constantly reminding ourselves to focus on being happy - remembering that we CANNOT change our S.

All the best "GRR"...you need make a nickname or something, "Grr" doesn't really role off the tongue!

BIT
SIC