Need help to stay focused

[Chrysalid]

I hadn't heard from H in 2 days. It was really hard not even seeing him pop up on FB since I blocked him

I had to contact him this morning regarding the house payments coming up.

There was no hello, how was your trip? It was just a very straight forward list of what was due.

He then replied that we need to talk about the house and that he's going to take one day off a week to start fixing it up. There is NO way we can sell with the work that needs to be done, and even with the market the way it is we'll lose money and owe a ton. Our mortgage is due in October and he had plans of dumping it on me or selling it before then.. the reality is we can't, so we'll likely have to renew and be stuck holding the house together.

He has his mind set on renting the house out now. I'm very leary of this as 1) i'll have to move into an apt. 2) we won't be able to ask in rent what the mortgage/taxes would cover 3) insurance will go up 4) liabilities - what happens if someone drowns in the pool ? or the renters destroy the house ? 5) who will take care of the maintenance or emergency repairs ?

So to me it's not an ideal solution.. he originally was going to move back home, i THOUGHT this would be a fantastic opportunity for me to show him how much I've changed but it looks as though I won't get that chance now.

I have NO idea what course of action to take next.. I'm trying to go dark but it's not working.. it's only been 2 days I had to contact him first or he'd shaft me on his share of the bills.

I'm just so confused, emotionally drained, depressed and at the same time I'm trying to GAL, be strong and have hope.. this is SO HARD !