The Moment of Clarity

[zengypsy]

Sandi, you like Truegritter are such straight shooters. I really admire that about you both because you tell us things sometimes that we don't want to hear but need to.

Denver my brother, I am concerned for you. You have done such amazing work with DB'g but I too am afraid you are drowning yourself with too much reconciliation water. I don't want your expectation to be so high for your talk tommorrow that you are going to take 10 steps back. You have worked so hard to be a changed man for yourself and for your family. Reconnection before reconcilation. Crawl before you walk. Patience. From a girl's perspective, it doesn't sound to me like your W is in the mindset yet of R talk. It doesn't sound like she's made any strides to get herself to a healthier way of thinking at the moment. Does it mean she won't? Certainly not. Perhaps her meeting with you tommorrow night is a test of sorts. Remember, your actions will speak volumes over your words. You need to listen to what she has to say. Validate her feelings simply by saying you agree with what she is telling. Don't go into any convo's about where you messed up because if you keep bringing that up, she is only going to be reminded of why she left. You have to play this very close to the vest. Your DB skills are going to be tested BIG time and I know you can pass with flying colors.

Think to yourself throughout the conversation tommorrow night if your answers will be getting you closer to your goal or farther from your goal. You obviously would want closer vs. farther.

I don't mean to sound uncaring because I do care and have always held your sitch as hopeful and still do.

You are awesome - show her.