Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
A note for all of you who are at the very early stages. I've been back here for about a year and a half, and was originally here 4 years before that. With that in mind, I want all of you to know that with time, it all gets better. I know it's been said here tons of times, but it's true. There were times, when I just couldn't believe that, and that's why I am saying it again.
My daily life is pretty awesome, but I am still riding the rollercoaster, but really only because I choose to. I could have completely ended any relationship with my WAW, but I have chosen not to. I have dated other women, and all the other things we are "supposed" to do, but I still can't cut all ties with her. Because I love her.
That's all I have to say today. It does get better. I promise.
Last week WAW asked me what I thought of her going on vacation alone. I really thought it was an invitation for me to suggest I go with her, so I did. She didn't say no right away, but 2 days later she did. I handled it well and stayed calm when she told me.
I am not 100% sure she is actually going alone, but also have not heard or seen any evidence of someone going with her. The fact that she apparently has chosen to spend a week at an average resort by herself rather than at a much better one with me says a lot. She says she really needs to relax and not stress and based on my behaviour during our family trip at XMAS and the one she and I took last June, she doesn't believe she can do that with me there. She does have a point-I really blew the last 2 trips.
I am now going to try to go dark much more than I have recently. I have still been the caring friend. Let's see if I can actually do this and see if she likes the new way.
...My daily life is pretty awesome, but I am still riding the rollercoaster, but really only because I choose to. I could have completely ended any relationship with my WAW, but I have chosen not to. I have dated other women, and all the other things we are "supposed" to do, but I still can't cut all ties with her. Because I love her.
That's all I have to say today. It does get better. I promise.
Bless you, Brother.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
Try not offering to do anything for her, or go anywhere with her. Definitely, you should be as dark as possible.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Just found out today that she has booked the trip (and supposedly) is going alone. That hurts me. Vacation time used to be incredible for us.
Even worse, today WAW told me she has started dating someone. I even know his name.
This has been a tough day. But, I will get through it like I always have. At least now I know she has moved even further away from me. Sometimes I need to be whacked right in the gut to see reality.
Restless sleep last night. It's amazing how a year and half after coming back here, my WAW's actions can still hurt me. It does get better with time, but there are still days after big events that are very tough.
Last night before going to bed I finally removed the gold chain from my neck. WAW gave it to me at Christmas a few years ago. It was a daily reminder of her and I simply don't need that anymore.
One more "moving on" task this morning. I finally took down the wedding photos of my WAW with her Mom and Dad. I had left them up as a sign of hope and for the kids. But, today they are no longer there for me to see every morning as I go downstairs.
