dear X i can't stop thinking about what i said to you
i didn't mean it of course
i am so sorry
i truly love you, robin and i want you to be happy
one of the things i realize through this is that words do hurt...i realize that i say things without thinking about the consequences
this has done so much damage and the enormity is hitting me
i have also realized that when things were going south, i kept waiting to make them better instead of reacting right away had i done that we might have been in a very different place right now
remember i was once an actress and i tend to go for the dramatic i should have taken more time to stop and think about what this is doing to the man i love
i also know that when i am at work, or on a mountain somewhere, i can give those people the best of me which is pretty great it's what i used to give you all the time
my family are the people who should always receive that..no matter what i am going through
we should have been each others comfort
anyway, thank you for bearing with me when i have moments like this morning, and last night and yesterday and so on
because the words come from a place of hopelessness and the re telling of conversations come from a place of wanting to do whatever i can to turn this around and to show you that i can be the woman you deserve, desire and want
i know it's too late for that
but i do want you to be happy
because, simply - i love you
thank you for listening and i swear i will do better
